First dates can feel like a live exam with no marking guide. You’re trying to focus on the conversation, but half your brain is quietly asking, “Do they like me? Is this going anywhere?” The tricky part is, we tend to read way too much into tiny signals. Or we miss big ones completely. Here are 15 body language cues that people often misread on a first date – and what they might actually mean.
1. He keeps looking away while you talk
A lot of people take this as a clear sign of boredom. Sometimes it is. But often, it’s nerves. Shy or anxious people struggle with long eye contact, especially if they’re attracted to you. If he looks away but keeps leaning in, asking questions and staying engaged, that’s not disinterest. That’s “I like you and my brain is overloaded.”
2. He’s fidgeting with his glass or napkin
We tend to assume fidgeting = not interested. In reality, it’s usually just excess energy. He’s trying not to sit there frozen like a statue. If his body is angled towards you, his feet are pointed your way and he’s still tuned into the conversation, the fidgeting is probably just nerves, not a sign he wants to leave. If you’re unsure, look for clearer behavioural signs a guy actually likes you instead of obsessing over one twitchy hand.
3. His arms are crossed
Crossed arms have a bad reputation. People think “defensive” or “closed off”. Sometimes that’s true. But sometimes he’s just cold. Or trying to get comfortable in a weird chair. Check the rest of his posture. Is he leaning back and angled away, giving short answers and scanning the room? That’s closed. Is he smiling, listening closely and still turning his head towards you? Then the crossed arms might mean nothing.
4. He sits on the same side of the table as you
Some people find this intense. Others think it’s sweet. Either way, it’s rarely neutral. If he chooses to sit next to you when there’s room across, he’s probably comfortable with closeness and wants that “datey” feeling, not a job interview vibe. If it feels like too much, it’s ok to suggest opposite sides, but take it as a sign he’s at least somewhat keen.
5. He mirrors your movements
This is one of the better indicators that someone’s into you. If you sip your drink and a moment later he does the same, or you lean in and he follows, that’s subconscious mirroring. Our bodies copy people we feel connected to. You don’t need to over-analyse it, but if you notice a lot of mirroring plus good conversation, that’s a green flag.
6. His legs are turned away from you
Feet and legs tell the truth. You can fake a smile, but it’s harder to fake where your body wants to go. If his torso is facing you but his legs are angled towards the door or bar, he might already be halfway out mentally. On the flip side, if his legs and feet are clearly pointed your way, even when the room is busy, that’s solid interest.
7. He’s leaning back but his eyes stay locked on you
Leaning back isn’t always a sign of disconnection. Some guys naturally take up space or sit further away, especially if they’re tall. If he’s still making strong eye contact, nodding along, asking follow-up questions and reacting to what you say, the lean-back might just be comfort. Watch his face, not just his chair angle.
8. He touches your arm or shoulder in passing
Light, respectful touches can signal attraction and testing the waters. The key word is respectful. A quick touch on your arm as he laughs, or a gentle hand on your back as you move through a crowded bar, usually means “I’m interested and also trying to be protective/attentive.” If it’s constant, lingering or makes you tense up, that’s different. Your comfort matters more than whatever his body language “means.”
9. He barely touches you at all
Some people assume no touch = no attraction. Not always. He might be shy, respectful, or worried about coming on too strong. If his words are warm, his body is turned towards you, he’s clearly engaged and trying to impress you a little, lack of touch could just mean he’s cautious. Plenty of guys wait for clearer signals from you before closing that gap.
10. He keeps glancing at your lips
This one is fairly straightforward. People look at what they want. If his gaze drops to your lips repeatedly, especially in quiet moments, he’s almost certainly thinking about kissing you. It doesn’t mean he will, or that you have to be ok with it, but it’s a useful clue about where his mind is.
11. He plays with his hair, watch or shirt sleeves
Self-grooming gestures are common when someone wants to look good around you. Fixing his hair. Adjusting his watch. Straightening his shirt when you come back from the bathroom. He’s not just bored; he’s checking himself. It’s a tiny “I care what you think of me” moment.
12. He leans in when you talk, even if the room isn’t loud
Leaning in is a big one. If he consistently moves closer when you’re speaking, that’s a sign he’s genuinely interested in what you’re saying, not just waiting for his turn to talk. Combine that with soft eye contact and relaxed shoulders, and it’s usually a strong indicator he’s into you.
13. He keeps shifting closer as the date goes on
Pay attention to the distance between you at the start vs the end. If he starts fairly neutral but slowly ends up closer – chairs tucked in, knees almost touching, arms resting on the same part of the table – that’s growing comfort and attraction. Our bodies naturally move towards people we like.
14. He goes quiet when you compliment him
You might think he’s unimpressed or doesn’t care. Often, he’s just not used to being genuinely complimented. If you say something kind and he looks down, smiles awkwardly or fumbles his words, that’s shy happiness, not rejection. Notice whether his overall warmth increases afterwards. Does he relax? Open up more? That’s a good sign.
15. He lingers at the end instead of rushing off
The goodbye tells you a lot. If he’s into you, he’ll usually slow things down at the end. Ask one more question. Suggest another drink. Walk you to your car or the station. Even if he has to go, he might hesitate for a moment, like he’s not quite ready for the date to be over. A rushed, vague goodbye with no mention of seeing you again is pretty clear. A lingering goodbye with a specific “We should do this again” is even clearer.
First dates are never an exact science. One cue on its own doesn’t prove anything. But when you stack a few of these signs together – consistent attention, open posture, subtle leaning in, genuine interest in what you say – you can stop overthinking every tiny movement and trust the bigger picture.
